


15 Minute Fics (December)

by Ehliena



Series: 15 minute fics [2]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Percy Jackson, M/M, Mistletoe, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-06
Updated: 2015-12-31
Packaged: 2018-05-05 07:04:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 16,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5365862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ehliena/pseuds/Ehliena
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt-based ficlets written in 15 minutes.<br/></p>
<table> <tbody><tr> <th>1. Mistletoe </th>
<th>16. Vaccine</th> 
<th>31. Wine </th>
</tr>
<tr> <th>2. Motorcycles </th>
<th>17. Anniversary</th> </tr>
<tr> <th> 3. Silence </th>
<th>18. Period </th> </tr>
<tr> <th> 4. Photo </th>
<th>19. Shadow </th> </tr>
<tr> <th> 5. Rose </th>
<th>20. Ice </th> </tr>
<tr> <th> 6. Moon </th>
<th>21. Breakfast </th> </tr>
<tr> <th> 7. Sent </th>
<th>22. Coffee </th> </tr>
<tr> <th> 8. Blue </th>
<th>23. Tea </th> </tr>
<tr> <th> 9. Goat </th> 
<th>24. Sober </th> </tr>
<tr> <th> 10. Sword </th> 
<th>25. Gifts </th> </tr>
<tr> <th> 11.Spectacles </th> 
<th>26. Leftovers </th> </tr>
<tr> <th> 12. Game </th> 
<th>27. Cinnamon </th> </tr>
<tr> <th> 13. Green </th> 
<th>28. Losing </th>
</tr>
<tr> <th> 14. Winter </th> 
<th>29. Alphabet </th> </tr>
<tr> <th> 15. Cheesecake </th>
<th>30. Milk </th> </tr> </tbody></table>
            </blockquote>





	1. Mistletoe

It wasn’t until that very moment that Thorin realized that he hated mistletoes. He didn’t really mind the plant, nor the tradition surrounding them until recently. Recently being the first yuletide celebrations after the Battle of the Five Armies. 

They didn’t have much in terms of a feast, but what they did have was shared and no one was going to go hungry that night. With what liquor was left to ferment in the mountain after 150 years, it was also guaranteed that there wasn’t going to be anyone left sober that night either.

It was Kili who suggested putting up what little yule decorations there was, clearly thinking that a festive atmosphere would help with Fili’s recovery. Of course Bilbo, being the helpful hobbit that he was, remembered seeing mistletoes growing nearby, and helped Kili decorate the feasting hall with them.

The tradition of kissing under mistletoe didn’t bother Thorin so much until he saw how many mistletoes that Bilbo had found himself under. And how many other dwarves seemed to be under the same sprig.

At first it was Fili. Thorin didn’t think anything of it since Bilbo was the one pushing Fili’s chair, the one Bifur had assembled with wheels on it so that the elder prince could go around. The two shared a peck on the lips after much blushing (Bilbo) and joking (Fili).

The second time was Nori. To be honest, Thorin thought that the thief was up to something as he steered Bilbo in the direction of the liquor table. Nothing good ever came about when Nori had that glint in his eye. Thorin’s brow furrowed as he watched the thief tilt his burglar’s head and capture his lips in what was most definitely a kiss that could turn anyone’s cheeks red. Which would explain why Dwalin looked a bit red in the face after witnessing that.

On and on it went. Balin, giving Bilbo a fatherly kiss on the cheeks; Tauriel laughing and kissing Bilbo full on the lips; Bard smiling and kissing Bilbo’s hand before being goaded to give the hobbit a ‘real’ kiss by his eldest. And others that Thorin didn’t see or wish to see.

Deciding he needed a breather, the king went out onto a balcony. He was about to light his pipe when he heard footsteps behind him.  
He met Bilbo at the doorway, the hobbit’s eyes a bit wild.

“Please tell me it’s just you here?” Bilbo asked. His gaze going from one side to the other. “I’ve had it with people cornering me with mistletoe.”  
“Be calm Master Burglar,” Thorin said. “I’m the only one here.”

“Oh good,” Bilbo sighed in relief. “You have no idea how horrid it’s been. Everywhere I look, there’s a sprig of mistletoe hanging.”

“Indeed?” Thorin chuckled. As irritated as he was with the attention his hobbit was getting, it was a pleasure to see Bilbo annoyed at something other than him for a change.  
“Yes! I won’t be surprised if…” Bilbo looked up. “Oh…”

“If?” Thorin followed his gaze. Right above their heads was a sprig of mistletoe, complete with bright red berries. “Oh. You don’t have to if you don’t want to. No one else will know.”

Despite his words, Thorin’s body was already leaning towards Bilbo.

“It’s tradition,” Bilbo replied, also leaning towards Thorin. “We don’t really have to, but you dwarves are sticklers for tradition.”

“True…” Thorin saw Bilbo’s eyes closing and followed suit. His words barely a whisper. “But only if-“

“There you are!” Kili exclaimed. “Oh and you found it!”

The two jumped apart, both with red cheeks.

“Kili, bad timing,” Fili said from beside his brother. “Go on uncle, don’t mind us.”

“Yeah Bilbo,” Kili nodded. “Don’t mind us, just kiss.”

And despite the, rather enthusiastic audience, they did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I'm a few days late, but I intend to make 31 chapters on this each chapter being stand-alone unless indicated otherwise. 
> 
> Comments are greatly appreciated. Prompts are as well, because I really don't have enough of them yet.


	2. Motorcycles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo is the bookish type and he gets a bit annoyed when fellow bookworm Balin's brother and cousin arrive and leave school on their loud motorcycles everyday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pre-slash. Only Balin really knows anything (how is that different from canon? lol).

Bilbo hated motorcycles. They were noisy, dangerous, and downright hazards on the road. He hated that the school library, where he spent most of his free time, was close to the parking lot. It didn’t help matters that Thorin “Oakenshield” Durin, star athlete and his close friend Dwalin each had those horribly loud ones and that they would park in front of the library because Dwalin always dropped off his older brother there.

“How could you be related?” Bilbo once asked Balin, who was as polite as any high school senior could be, and still be fairly popular.

“To Thorin?” Balin clarified, staring at the spectacle that was lunch over at the jock table. “Or to Dwalin?”

“To both of them,” Bilbo cringed, reminded that one of his best friends was related to not one, but two of what he considered as dumb jocks.

“Oh they’re not so bad,” Balin assured him. “Thorin’s just used to being the center of attention because his grandfather and parents dote on him. Dwalin was dropped on his head.”

“Really?” Bilbo’s eyes widened. “Are you serious?”

“About Thorin, yes,” Balin chuckled. “Dwalin being dropped on his head is something I made up though.”

“Oh you,” Bilbo play swatted him. “But in all seriousness, are those two really just as they seem?”

“With Dwalin, what you see is pretty much what you get,” Balin nodded, “With Thorin, well, he’s projecting what he thinks people want to see.”

“Right…” Bilbo trailed off, staring at the popular boy. “But do they really have to park at the lot near the library? Most of their other friends park out front. And don’t say they do it to drop you off, there have been times that Thorin was at the library when I got there. There was even a time that he arrived and walked into the library even without you being there.”

“Oh?” Balin said with a smirk, “And what did my cousin do after that?”

“He started looking around and seemed startled when he saw me there.”

Balin just snickered, leading Bilbo to smack him once more.

“Stop laughing, it wasn’t funny,” Bilbo huffed. “He made this weird choking noise and then rushed out. All the girls there glared at me as if it was my fault he left.”

Balin’s snickered escalated into full-blown guffaws. Bilbo just stared at his friend, who was ignoring his demands for an explanation. Once Balin’s laughter died down, Bilbo once more asked him to explain why he laughed so much.

“I’d rather you find out for yourself,” Balin said, still breathing heavily. “In fact, I suggest you ask Thorin about it.”

“Maybe I will,” Bilbo said. “Since you’re being so mysterious about it.”

“You two better thank me afterwards.”

Bilbo shook his head at his friend as he cleaned up the remainders of his lunch. He promised that he would ask Thorin about it later in the afternoon when they pick up Balin before they go home.


	3. Silence

The mountain was silent as a tomb. Save thirteen dwarves and a hobbit, it _was_ a tomb. Bilbo sighed.

He was far away enough from the treasure room that the sound of gold pieces hitting other gold pieces as the dwarves dug through one pile or another in search of some stupid treasure couldn’t be heard. Over the days that they’ve been inside the mountain, Bilbo had gotten used to the sound of the torches burning that he could filter them out.

His heartbeat was another matter.

The Arkenstone weighed heavy in his pocket, and heavier still on his conscience. On one hand, he could give Thorin the thing that the king wanted the most in the world. On the other hand, it could also be the final nail in the coffin containing Thorin’s sanity.

Bilbo wanted to take the stone out and look at it, but he resisted the temptation. His hands weren’t as strong-willed though and slipped into his pocket. On feeling the Arkenstone’s smooth surface, Bilbo’s dark thoughts turned darker.

Why shouldn’t he keep the stone? He could take it and leave while the dwarves were still busy searching the piles. He had earned it. Just like he earned his ring.

He pulled it out of his pocket, staring at the light that was emanating from it. It really was so beautiful, not meant to be stared at by all. Its beauty had to be hoarded, kept secret. The Arkenstone was too magnificent to look at it hurt. So he put it back in his pocket.

But Bilbo’s hand kept stroking the stone and it was then when he felt another object. Just as smooth, with no horrid thoughts that invaded.

Bilbo took out the acorn he had gotten from Beorn’s and looked at it, remembering the good green earth and the Shire. Thoughts of home gave Bilbo a bittersweet feeling. The Shire was home, but so was Thorin. Or at least Thorin was before all the gold had gotten to him.

“What is that in your hand?”

A voice startled Bilbo. Seeing Thorin’s expression added to his nerves.

“It’s nothing.”

“Show me!”

All through the exchange, Bilbo could hear and feel his heartbeat speed up, slow down, and speed up again. At first it was fear of Thorin. It slowed down when he realized that Thorin meant him no harm. But it sped up again for a different reason when he saw a glimpse of the old Thorin.

After Dwalin called Thorin away, Bilbo heard nothing but silence once more.

It was then when he decided on what he was going to do with the Arkenstone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to EarendilElwing over at ff.net for this prompt.


	4. Photo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo finds an old photo of him and Thorin.

Bilbo stared at the photograph he had just unearthed from the depths of his closet. It was of him and Thorin from the early days of their relationship. He could tell because of how happy they looked. In the picture it seemed that neither had a care in the world.

Looking around the room, Bilbo sighed. How things had changed.

They met at university. Bilbo was taking his bachelor’s degree on scholarship, not that he needed to have a scholarship, but it looked better on his resume that he did. As a scholar, he had to work a few days a week at the school library. It never bothered him, he liked being around books.

Thorin was a law student at the time. He came into the library often. Bilbo had noticed him then, who wouldn’t? Thorin had always had an air about him that demanded a room’s attention. Bilbo only just admired the older student from afar.

He didn’t know until later that Thorin was only in the library because he was checking out Bilbo. A few weeks into their relationship, it made sense. Thorin came from a long line of lawyers, what out-of-print books law students usually needed was already at his disposal. What new acquisitions the library got, Thorin received as soon as it was available (sometimes before).

Bilbo sighed again as he stroked Thorin’s face in the picture. They were young and stupid. Young and stupid, but happy.

Nowadays, they barely had time for each other. Bilbo was always flying off to some book conference or another or he was locked up in the study writing for days on end. Thorin was always at the office, or at some political shindig. A key sliding into the lock broke him out of his reverie.

“Bilbo?” Thorin asked, “Where are you?”

“In the closet,” Bilbo yelled.

“We came out years ago,” Thorin joked, his head peeking into their walk-in. “What are you doing there?”

“Oh, just reminiscing,” Bilbo said nonchalantly. He accepted Thorin’s help getting on his feet. “How was your day?”

“Same old nuisances,” Thorin complained, brushing off Bilbo’s pants. “You’d think time would mellow my father and mature my brother, but you’d be wrong.”

“That bad?” Bilbo asked, walking them both out of the closet and into their room.

“Just bad enough,” Thorin said. “Are you packed?”

“Yes,” Bilbo nodded. “I packed up your suitcase as well. Please tell me that they didn’t pile work on you so you couldn’t take a vacation?”

“They tried, but Dis bullied them out of it.”

“She was always my favourite,” Bilbo smiled.

“I thought I was your favourite,” Thorin murmured as he embraced Bilbo from behind.

“You’re my husband,” Bilbo smirked, turning his head so he could kiss the taller man. “You’re only my favourite some of the time.”

“And the rest of the time?” Thorin asked, turning Bilbo around so they could face each other.

“You sleep on the couch.”

Things have changed, Bilbo thought as he relaxed in his husband’s arms. They may not have a lot of time together, but what time they do have, they make the most of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be angsty and all that, but at some point I changed my mind. Our boys have had enough canon angst.


	5. Rose

To say that Thorin was out of his element was an understatement. He had given Bilbo the yellow flowers, roses, as Kili had called them, as soon as he arrived to escort Bilbo to their private dinner. While Bilbo was happy to accept the bouquet, the hobbit seemed to have lost the bundle of energy he had when he opened his door.

The rest of their night was no different from any other dinner that the two had previously share. And when Thorin dropped Bilbo off at his door, Bilbo just smiled at the king and said good night.

Which puzzled Thorin. According to his nephews, who were the ones researching hobbit culture, flowers were important in their courtship rituals. Also, Fili reminded Thorin that as king, he was to act the proper gentledwarf and mostly keep his hands to himself when, not if, Bilbo invited him into his rooms for a cup of tea or a pipe at the end of dinner. That the king did not even make it through Bilbo’s door, made him doubt how thoroughly his nephews had done their research.

“We did our research properly!” Kili insisted the next day over family breakfast. “Ori even helped.”

“Hobbits court using flowers, poetry, and food,” Fili nodded. “It was all there in that obscure tome in the Library.”

“Perhaps they have changed their customs over the years,” Thorin speculated. “That tome did survive the fall of Erebor. Who knows when it was written, it could be more than a few centuries old.”

“Oh,” Kili lamented. “Maybe Fili and I should just ask Bilbo?”

Fili nodded his head. The two were very invested in their Uncle’s happiness. After what he’s been through, their king deserved some form of happiness. Especially if that happiness baked the two dwarves treats every so often.

“Perhaps Bilbo just wishes for us to be friends,” Thorin said, his mood darkening. “After that spectacle at the wall, I’m amazed that he’d allow anything between us at all.”

“I don’t think so Uncle,” Kili protested. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you when you’re not looking. It doesn’t say friendship.”

Fili snorted. While his brother had sharp eyes, those eyes were mostly turned on a certain elf captain, so the archer was bound to miss a few things. Like how Bilbo’s eyes sought out Thorin in a crowded room. Or how Bilbo blushed when their eyes met. The blond prince shook his head. He needed a hobby. One that didn’t involve his uncle’s love life.

In the shadows, Bilbo quickly tiptoed out of the room. He was just there to sneak some food out, not really wanting to face Thorin after the dwarf basically told him he just wanted them to be friends. But after what he just overheard, Bilbo figured that he should tell Ori a little about flower language so that no there would be no further misunderstandings in the future.


	6. Moon

Bilbo knew he had no reason to worry. Thorin was out on a routine patrol, he estimated that he’d be gone a week. Dwalin and Kili were with him. Nothing bad was going to happen.

The hobbit sighed as he found himself on the balcony of their rooms for the third consecutive night that Thorin was gone. He lit his pipe and stared at the moon and the stars, wondering what Thorin was doing at that moment.

Thorin was what was considered as a ‘hands-on’ king. He had his own workshop at the forge for when he had time to make something. He joined patrols as any dwarf would have. He did draw the line at mining because he was never a miner. Thorin did not pretend to be anything he wasn’t. He was a smith, a soldier, and a king.

Bilbo sighed. Sometimes he felt that Thorin forgot that he was also a husband and a father. Frodo had just recently come into their lives. The fauntling had just lost two parents. If Bilbo could help it, he’d rather prevent Frodo from losing another one.

But Thorin would not hear of staying behind when his name was on the roster for patrol. Bilbo remembered the argument that they had. It was after dinner one night, after they had tucked Frodo in bed. The Royal family was relaxing in the sitting room, Bilbo and Thorin near the fireplace, Fili and Kili playing a strategy game, and Dis sharpening her sword.

“Ghivashel,” Thorin reasoned. “It is just a routine patrol, no more than a week. It is my duty as a soldier of Erebor to keep her safe.”

“Thorin, you are King!” Bilbo pointed out. “Should you not be kept safe in order to ensure Erebor’s future?”

“Erebor’s future is already secure,” Thorin said. “Fili can take the throne any day.”

“I’d rather not!” Fili yelled from his seat. “If it’s all the same to you Uncle, I’d rather take over when you decide to retire from the job, not when you retire from life.”

“Besides,” Thorin continued, ignoring the fact that his nephew spoke. “Dis is also quite capable of overseeing things if Fili feels that he isn’t ready.”

“Aye and if you die on me brother,” Dis threatened, her sharpening stone seemed to become louder as it passed her blade. “I’d hunt you down and bring you back to life only to kill you again.”

“And Kili-” Thorin began but was cut off.

“NO!”

Thorin sighed. His whole family seemed to forget that he was a warrior first and foremost. Bilbo saw that troubled look on his husband’s face and shook his head.

“I just worry Thorin,” Bilbo explained. “I almost lost you once. I’d rather not go through that again. Not with Frodo just settling in.”

“I’ll stay safe Ghivashel,” he promised. And that was the end of that discussion.

Bilbo was so lost in thought that he didn’t hear the door to their rooms open, nor the footsteps that approached him. He was surprised by the coat that was placed on his shoulders.

“Uncle will be back soon Bilbo,” Fili said as he sat down next to the hobbit. “You should sleep. Looking after Frodo isn’t good when you’re tired. Lots of different places a fauntling can hide in the mountain.”

“I know FIli,” Bilbo replied. “It’s just…”

“It’s natural to worry,” Fili told him. “I’m worried for them too. But we all have our duties. Theirs is to patrol. Ours is to hold down the fort. And that means getting enough rest to make sure that you can look after Frodo.”

“Oh Fili,” Bilbo shook his head. “When did you get so mature?”

“I’ve always been mature,” Fili smirked. “You must be thinking of my brother.”

Bilbo laughed. It was the best he felt since Thorin left. He stared at the moon and smiled. _Bring Thorin home safely_ , he wished on the moon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two more and I'll be caught up! *passes out*  
> Yeah, I'll do this tomorrow.  
> As always reviews are loved.


	7. Sent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Modern AU. Thorin sent a message that he thinks he shouldn't have.

Thorin stared at his screen in something akin to horror.

_I love you.  
Message sent 1:08 am_.

He knew that it was no big deal. That Bilbo probably thought he was just joking. Or that Dwalin had somehow gotten hold of his phone while he was in the rest room. Thorin knew that he could just laugh it off when Bilbo asked about it, using his state of sobriety, or lack there-of, as an excuse.

But he found that he didn’t want to.

He and Bilbo had just been going out for a few months. It started out as a date set-up by Dwalin and Balin, meddling cousins that they were, they meant well. Bilbo worked as a clerk in Balin’s law firm. Dwalin had seen the man a few times and thought that it would be hilarious to set-up Thorin, who was a no-hold’s-barred type of businessman, with Bilbo who, despite all appearances, was quite feisty in his own way.

They started that dinner off on a bad footing, but somehow they got through it and ended the date on good terms. They even agreed to have coffee the next day and another coffee date a few days after. Of course they only agreed so that they could settle an argument about which coffee shop had the better brew.

Those coffee dates spiralled into dinner dates, and pretty soon they were going out every weekend. They weren’t officially exclusive, but Thorin wasn’t seeing anyone else and neither was Bilbo, so they might as well have been.

Neither had said anything about love or commitment though, and Thorin wasn’t worried about that. They had both agreed to keep things slow. Dwalin was gloating enough as it was, taking all the credit for the two getting together. Thorin was worried that his drunken message was going to ruin things. That he went too far too fast and Bilbo was going to be scared off.

There was nothing he could do about the message at that moment though. Not when his head was pounding, his mouth tasted sweet, and he reeked of smoke and booze. Thorin slowly made his way to the bathroom in order to try and feel more human. He swore that he would never drink again. At least not in the near future.

After his bath, and a couple of pain medications, he did feel more normal. However as he saw his phone’s light blinking, indicating that he had a message or a missed call, his heart plummeted to his stomach.

It was Bilbo, he was sure of it. It was going to be a message telling Thorin that Bilbo needed time or space, or a combination of the two. He hesitated, tempted to ignore his phone because as long as he didn’t read the message, he’d still be in a relationship with Bilbo. But Thorin was no coward.

He lifted his mobile and read the notification.

It was a message. A message from Bilbo.

Thorin took a breath to steel himself before he opened the message.

_Good morning! You must have been drunk last night, huh? If you mean it, call me. If you don’t, we can just ignore it and keep going on as we have. No pressure._

Thorin’s hands were sweaty. Bilbo was giving him an out. It was too soon. He should take the escape that Bilbo had offered.

He couldn’t dial Bilbo’s number fast enough.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I have a lot of modern AUs. I need to re-watch the movies.   
> Tell me what you thought of this one?


	8. Blue

Bilbo wondered at the blueness of Frodo’s eyes. Sure blue eyes weren’t rare in the Shire. In some parts they were fairly common, ranging from the shade of a pale blue sky to a dark and stormy blue. The Bagginses also had their fair share of blue eyes, but Frodo’s eyes however, were very much a piercing blue. Much like a certain dwarf king’s.

If Bilbo were a betting sort of hobbit, sometimes he was but that was only because of his dwarves’ influence, he would wager that magic was involved. How could Frodo, who was Bilbo’s cousin on both sides, with no relation whatsoever to Thorin, or any other dwarf of Durin’s line, have such a similar shade of blue to Thorin’s and Fili’s eyes.

“Mahal blessed us, Ghivashel,” Thorin said one time when Bilbo brought it up. “He saw that the child would become part of Durin’s line as you have. And he asked his wife Yavanna to give Frodo a bit of dwarven heritage that no one can ever take away.”

Fanciful as that sounded, Bilbo would have liked to believe it. But he heard whispers that alarmed him.

“People are talking Bilbo,” Fili told him over tea at some point. “They say that you really are a lucky hobbit. That you gave Thorin a son.”

“In essence,” Bilbo said, taking a sip of tea. “I’ve adopted the poor lad and since Thorin is married to me, Frodo is technically Thorin’s son.”

“Not according to the gossips,” Kili said. Although how the prince could still talk with so many biscuits in his mouth was a mystery to Bilbo. Hobbits ate a lot, but hobbits had manners. Dwarves just seemed to stuff their gobs, no matter how hard Bilbo tried to domesticate them. “They say that you went to the Shire to give birth to Frodo.”

“Silly nonsense, is what that is,” Bilbo scoffed.

“You can tell us Bilbo,” Kili insisted. “If it’s just some hobbity thing, we’ll understand. We just want to know if there are other cousins coming in the future.”

With that Kili gave Bilbo’s stomach a pointed look. Fili just buried his face in his palm. The older prince couldn’t believe that his brother was being so obvious in asking Bilbo if the hobbit was pregnant.

“Kili,” Bilbo said slowly. “I am not, nor was I ever pregnant.”

“But the Durin eyes! And he looks like you!” Kili protested. Fili just groaned. Sometimes his brother was a bit too gullible.

“Are a mere coincidence,” Bilbo explained. “Frodo is my cousin. On both sides of the family. It should make sense that we would have some sort of family resemblance.”

Kili seemed so heartbroken at the thought that Frodo was not in any way their blood relative that Bilbo told them what Thorin had told him. They seemed cheered by that thought.

“Frodo _is_ a gift to Durin’s line then!” Kili exclaimed. “Just like you were a gift to Uncle.”

Bilbo loved his family, he really did. But sometimes Kili just said the oddest things.


	9. Goat

“What did you think you were doing going after Azog on a mountain goat?!”

Was the beginning of the first argument that Thorin and Bilbo had after Thorin was released from the healer’s care. It was only because of Gandalf’s timely rescue that the Line of Durin survived at all. He used what magic he had to keep the three dwarves in stasis long enough for them to be brought to the healers.

They still would have perished had it not been for the help of Thranduil’s elves. A fact that grated on Thorin’s nerves. Still, it was the beginning of new relations between the Dwarves of Erebor and the Elves of Mirkwood.

“And what were _you_ thinking coming after us?” Thorin replied, still a bit weak from his brush with death to fully use his height to his advantage restricted to bed rest as he was.

“To warn you, obviously!” Bilbo exclaimed, fussing around Thorin’s room, tidying up the odd object. “Not that you heeded it. The boys almost died.”

“But they didn’t,” Thorin reminded him.

“You almost died,” Bilbo whispered, as if saying the words out loud would finish Thorin off. Bilbo stopped whatever it was that he was doing and looked Thorin in the eye. “You were so pale Thorin. There was so much blood.”

“And yet here I still am,” Thorin said. “In truth I was worried about you that last moment before I passed out. There were still numerous orcs and goblins in the area. You were going to be left alone with no one to protect you.”

Bilbo moved closer towards Thorin’s bedside. Thorin patted the space on the bed, indicating that Bilbo should sit. The hobbit shook his head and instead pulled over a stool and perched on it.

“I would have been fine,” Bilbo insisted. “I would have defended you.”

“And I would not have appreciated that,” Thorin replied, reaching over to hold Bilbo’s hand. “If you had gotten injured while defending me as I lay dying, I would never have forgiven myself.”

“Thorin…”

“Going into the battle,” Thorin continued, ignoring the fact that Bilbo had spoken. “I thought that I was charging to my death, that I was leading Fili and Kili into death. My only consolation had been the knowledge that you were safe, that you had a mithril vest to protect you where I could not. That you had a wizard beside you and what soldiers that elf could spare to aid you. That my heart was safe and would survive.”

“Thorin?” Bilbo asked. Doubting that he heard what he had.

“When I saw you on Ravenhill and again at my side after I had dealt with Azog,” Thorin said. “I thought that the Valar were punishing me for falling into the gold sickness. I feared that I would have to watch you die.”

“Thorin,” Bilbo interjected. “What are you saying?”

Thorin gave him a look to convey how obtuse he thought Bilbo was being. The King shook his head, deciding that he should let Bilbo figure things out on his own.

“I grow weary,” Thorin replied, sidestepping the issue. “Stay until I fall asleep?”

His hand was still on Bilbo’s as he drifted off. Bilbo gave it a squeeze and held on. The last thing he heard before he fell asleep was Bilbo making a promise.

“I’ll stay until you don’t want me to anymore. Maybe even longer.”


	10. Sword

Bilbo didn’t really see the immediate need to learn how to use the sword. The Battle of the Five Armies, as people seemed to be calling it, happened a few months past.

People were still recovering, Fili had just recently been given permission to get out of bed. Kili had just arrived from a diplomatic mission at Mirkwood. Thorin was throwing himself at so many different projects it was a wonder that he could find time for Bilbo.

Dwarven Courting was important, Ori had informed the hobbit. As King, Thorin had to set a good example and follow proper courting protocol. And no matter how busy he was or how many people were vying for his attention, Dwarven culture dictated that there must always be time spent with the intended.

Bilbo should know. Ever since Thorin announced that he would court Bilbo, he was given a crash court in all things dwarven, from culture to politics to family trees. Balin explained that the sword training was part of dwarven politics, and from how Dis seemed to always be sharpening her swords and knives, Bilbo believed it.

Dis as a person was nice. As a mother, she was intimidating, especially when Fili and Kili blatantly tried to disregard the healer’s instructions. As the Princess of Erebor, she was regal in public but that kind demeanor fooled no one on the Council who knew her for her strong opinions. All in all, Bilbo liked Dis.

Except when she was his fighting instructor. He always assumed that it would be one of the Company, Dwalin because he was the Captain of the King’s Guard, or Nori because his fighting style was something that could be adopted to Bilbo’s stature. He didn’t take it well when Thorin told him that Dis would be the one to teach him.

“Why her?” Bilbo asked, already nervous because of the stories that he heard from Fili and Kili.

“She is the best,” Thorin reasoned. “I would teach you myself, but would you really like it if what limited time we have together would be spent with us sweaty, grunting, and out of breath?”

Bilbo’s cheeks reddened, thinking of another entirely different activity which would leave the pair sweaty and out of breath. Thankfully, Thorin didn’t seem to have noticed.

“Dis is the only choice,” Thorin said. “Kili does not know how to properly instruct anyone, Fili is still recovering. Dwalin and Balin both have other duties that cannot be delegated. Besides, I thought that you wanted to spend more time with my sister.”

“Er, yes.”

It was a hobbity thing, to become close to your intended’s family. He was already on very good terms with Fili and Kili and most of Thorin’s extended family. All that was left was Dis. But Bilbo did not think that sword training with her was the best way for them to get to know each other.

“If you insist.”

In the end Bilbo was run ragged with each session. Dis was a hard task master, but she had patience where Bilbo knew other dwarves did not. Kili, who observed one session, told him that Dis was taking it easy on him.

If what Dis was putting him through was ‘easy’, Bilbo didn’t want to know how she treated the troops that were sent to her for training.

Bilbo did improve with the sword. He was no warrior, but at least he could defend himself. And training with Dis did improve his relationship with her. After all, in every argument he had with Thorin, Dis took his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look innuendo! In my defense, I had just take pain medications before I wrote this.


	11. Spectacles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin has spectacles, but he doesn't use them.

Thorin never liked wearing his spectacles in public. It just didn’t suit with the image of a strong dwarven king. There was no shame in wearing spectacles, it was a perfectly respectable accessory, especially for dwarven jewelers who spent a lot of their time peering through magnifying lenses, straining their eyes, just to cut precious gems perfectly. But Throin disliked the things.

It didn’t matter to him that his eyes hurt whenever he spent too long pouring over documents without them. He could always rest his eyes at night. Besides, spectacles were for dwarves of a certain age. And Thorin was not of that age yet.

It did not help matters that Dis frequently teased him whenever she caught him wearing them. Despite all the reasons Thorin hated his spectacles, he did not throw them away. He did, after all, use them behind locked doors when his eye strain became too much to bear.

It also did not help that Bilbo, his beloved Consort, had no idea that he needed them. Until Bilbo found them in his desk drawer while looking for a spare pen. “Thorin,” Bilbo asked, holding the offending frame up. “What are these?”

“Pay them no mind Ghivashel,” Thorin said, racking his brain for some excuse as to why Bilbo should disregard the finding. “They’re just spectacles I use for when my head hurts from reading too much.

“Is this why you never spend that long reading before bed?” Bilbo inquired. “Because you need reading glasses and you never use them?”

“Bilbo when we are in bed together, do we ever spend a lot of time reading in it?” Thorin asked with a smirk.

“Sometimes,” Bilbo stammered. The King did love seeing his husband blush. He should tease the hobbit more often. “Stop changing the subject! Do you or don’t you need reading glasses?”

Thorin sighed. He knew that his husband was quite health conscious. Bilbo followed the healer’s instructions to the letter while nursing Thorin back to health after the Battle. The hobbit even went so far as to get Dwalin to restrain the King when he was threatening to leave his bed before the healers cleared him. That fiasco ended up having Thorin tied to the bed with some of Nori’s more fanciful knot-work. Which the thief ended up teaching Bilbo. Just in case

“The healers prescribed them to me, yes,” Thorin admitted. “But it’s not like I need them.”

“Thorin,” Bilbo admonished. “You know better than to ignore your healer’s instructions. If they help prevent eye strain, why don’t you use them?”

“I don’t like how they make me look,” Thorin confesed, albeit reluctantly. “They make me look old.” “

Of all the nonsensical-” Bilbo began, then he sighed and shook his head. “Let me be the judge of that.”

He leaned over and placed the spectacles on his husbands face. Thorin held his breath as Bilbo took in how his husband looked.

“You don’t look old silly,” Bilbo said, cupping his husband’s face. “You look rather distinguished.

Thorin couldn’t believe his ears. Bilbo knew just the right things to say to make him feel all gooey inside. The King leaned down to kiss his hobbit, pouring all his love and appreciation in the kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this because I know quite a number of people who have prescription lenses but don't use them because of aesthetics. Sigh.


	12. Game

“I bet you’d be a cleric,” Thorin told Bilbo as they set aside their 3DS to charge. “I’d be a Lord, of course.”

“Why would I be a cleric?” Bilbo asked, not following the other boy’s logic. “I have no first aid or healing skills whatsoever.”

“You also have no fighting skills whatsoever,” Thorin pointed out, flopping onto the couch. “It makes sense that you’d be a cleric.”

“Why not a mage?” Bilbo countered. “I may not have the muscle power you do, but I’m smart enough to be a mage.”

“You don’t have the demeanour to be a mage,” Thorin replied. “Mages study nonstop and all that. You like to pause for eating. You pause for eating a lot.”

“Mages eat!” Bilbo protested.

“Not enough to get a bit chubby,” Thorin said. “Not that there’s anything wrong with being chubby. I like you this way.”

Bilbo just glared at the other boy. They grew up as next door neighbours, playmates since before they could walk. When they were younger, whatever games one would have, the other would immediately want as well, despite Bilbo preferring turn-based role-playing games and Thorin preferring the strategy ones.

Their interests collided in Fire Emblem, which was a turn-based strategy game. Thorin liked the permadeath aspect of the games, he thought that it gave the game some semblance of reality. Bilbo liked the storylines the games had, especially since they were more or less of the historical fantasy genre.

They both liked the class system that the games had, limiting the growth of each character and the skills that could be learned. Which lead to their current argument.

“And why are you a Lord?” Bilbo asked, eyes squinting at Thorin. “It’s not like you’re anything special.”

“Please,” Thorin said smugly. “I practically rule the high school.”

He did. Star quarterback that he was, Thorin was a closet geek. Or not so closet geek since his love for RPGs were well-known and accepted. He excelled at most everything he attempted, which was why majority of the school populace forgave him for his geekiness.

He was still in the closet about another thing though, and that didn’t bother him because Bilbo was in the closet with him. They were together that way.

“Fine,” Bilbo agreed. “You’re a Lord, but I’m no cleric! As you pointed out, tome-wielding requires being a total bookworm, clerics can upgrade to use tomes, hence I’m not cleric-material!”

Which was true. Bilbo loved books, but not of the academic variety. While he liked sci-fi, fantasy was his first love. He dreamt of becoming an author like Rowling or Tolkien or Martin. George R.R. Martin, not Ann M. Martin.

“Fine, you’re no cleric,” Thorin allowed. “You’re more of a Dancer!”

“I’M A WHAT?!”

“It makes sense,” Thorin continued, ignoring Bilbo’s outburst. “You can deal damage, but not a lot of it. When I see you cheering in the stands, I get more invigorated than when I see the cheerleaders. Yup, you’re my personal Dancer.”

“You do realize how that sounds, right?” Bilbo asked, his face as red as a tomato.

Thorin blushed as he realized the implication. Still he persevered.

“You’re a Dancer,” he continued, despite not being able to look Bilbo in the eye. “You have to be protected at all times. I’ll protect you at all times.”

Bilbo didn’t think it was possible but he swore he blushed even more. Honestly, he never expected this conversation to come about from talking about a game. Thorin always seemed to make butterflies do crazy aerial stunts in his stomach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a huge Fire Emblem fan. I can't wait for the next one to come out!


	13. Green

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hogwarts AU.

Bilbo didn’t choose to be a Hufflepuff. Well, in all honesty, he did. He was a hat stall. The Sorting Hat was torn between putting him in Hufflepuff or in Slytherin.

His mother Belladonna was a Gryffindor. His father was a ‘Puff. It was logical, or at least it was logical to Bilbo’s 11 year old mind, that he would be a Hufflepuff as well.

But he asked the Hat to put him in Hufflepuff for three reasons. One was that he was afraid of the reputation that Slytherin house had. Two was that, because of said reputation, Bilbo felt that he would be attacked because his family had acknowledged their Squibs, instead of cutting them out of the family tree, as he suspected most pureblood elitists, which he assumed all the Slytherins were, did. And lastly, he asked to be placed in Hufflepuff because his father had already told him where the Kitchens were located and how close and accessible it was to the Hufflepuff Dormitory.

What Bilbo didn’t expect was that he’d be attracted to a Slytherin, and that the same Slytherin would feel the same. If they were in the same house, they wouldn’t have to deal with all the house politics that was present at Hogwarts.

Thorin was perfect for Slytherin. He was as brave as any Gryffindor, but he knew the proper time and place to be brave. Starting a relationship with Bilbo, albeit a secret one for now, was brave enough. Hufflepuffs had the reputation of being the weak house, but seeing all the hard work that the ‘Puffs do at the greenhouses, Thorin knew that the ‘Puffs weren’t people to mess around with. Bilbo especially.

The Slytherin was quite impressed when he saw Bilbo defend a younger Gryffindor from Slytherin bullies. As a prefect, Thorin went over to help with the situation, but Bilbo had surprised him even more.

“You’re a prefect,” Bilbo said, staring at Thorin’s badge. “You should be here to help us, not your own housemates.”

“I-” Thorin began, but was cut off again.

“I know that House loyalties are important,” Bilbo continued, obviously having a lot more to say. “But protecting lower years from bullies are just as important!”

“Yes and-” Thorin tried to agree, but Bilbo kept ignoring him.

“Prefects are chosen few,” Bilbo put his hands on his hips for emphasis. “They’re to keep order in the school, not use their power to help their Houses! You should be ashamed for coming over here to help _them._ ”

Bilbo was red in the face and breathing heavily after that. It was at that moment that Thorin knew that he should never let the uncharacteristically brave Hufflepuff go.

“If you’re quite done?” Thorin arched a brow. At Bilbo’s nod, he turned to his fellow Slytherins. “You two, apologise then leave.”

The two did as he said, giving the younger student an insincere apology before running off in the direction of the dungeons. The young Gryffindor stammered her thanks and walked off towards Gryffindor Tower.

“You let them off easily,” Bilbo had complained softly.

“Did I?” Thorin asked. “Or did I just send them away so I could spend some time with you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently, my mind automatically thinks 'Slytherin' whenever green is involved. XD  
> I wrote this while on pain meds that make me sleepy, so I think it made sense as I was writing it, but I doubt it makes much sense at all. :C


	14. Winter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo hated winter. Female!Thorin.

Bilbo never liked winter. Winter turned the Shire cold and lifeless. Winter took those too young and too old, those who couldn’t withstand the sickness that it brought. Winter served as a reminder that even though there was a bountiful autumn, bad things could still happen. Winter took away everything good.

Winter took away his mother.

Winter might take away his wife and unborn child.

While it surprised Bilbo that Thorin was female, it was an honest mistake. Thorin was always referred to as ‘King’. How was Bilbo supposed to know that dwarves were quite odd with their identities?

In hindsight, Bilbo figured that it there were signs that Thorin wasn’t male as hobbits saw it. The King never seemed to bathe with the Company. Bilbo chalked it up to her status. In fact, all of the preferential treatment that Thorin received, Bilbo attributed it to her being royal. It was only later, when the dwarves came back to Erebor that Bilbo found out that dwarves treated all their ‘bearers’ and younglings like royalty.

Bilbo was quite ready to be married to a male Thorin. The hobbit was just happy that they got through the entire Arkenstone debacle and the Battle of the Five Armies fairly well. If you discounted the severe injuries that the Line of Durin had sustained. But Durin’s Folk were the hardy sort, and all three recovered.

It was while Thorin was recuperating that Bilbo found out that ‘he’ was actually a ‘she’. Bilbo was confused for a bit until Balin took him aside and explained many things about Dwarven culture. Balin’s interventions were actually quite helpful, especially since Thorin, who was quite skilful at boosting morale, was rather inept at romance. Balin was the one who had to help Bilbo understand the ins and outs of Dwarven courtship (which could apparently be initiated by anybody towards anybody.)

Bilbo didn’t mind that Thorin wasn’t male. Hobbits were flexible that way. It was just that with a male Thorin, Bilbo knew he never had to worry about pregnancies and children and, he shudders at the thought, nappies.

Even when he found out Thorin was female, he shrugged off the thought of children. Surely hobbits and dwarves couldn’t procreate?

But here he was, pacing the corridor as Thorin was giving birth to their first child. It’s been hours since the labor started. Dis had assured Bilbo that first children tended to take their time, and dwarves never died in childbirth, but Bilbo couldn’t help but worry.

Bagginses tended to have a few children for a reason. There was talk of a curse being cast on the family, a curse affecting the women who would marry into the family. It was all superstitious nonsense of course, but Bilbo always erred on the side of caution when it came to superstitious nonsense.

“We make our own luck,” Thorin had reminded him before the labor had set in. “We survived getting here, a dragon, and a battle. We survived misunderstandings that could have broken us. Surely childbirth is not comparable to all that we’ve been through.”

Bilbo’s hands shook. A cry came from the room. Soon Dis was ushering him inside. On their bed was Thorin, smiling at him. And in her arms was their healthy baby boy.

Winter seemed to be better in Erebor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look! My first female Thorin fic! ^.^  
> Tell me what you thought of it?


	15. Cheesecake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo bakes and Thorin gets to eat cake!

When Thorin took Bilbo as his Consort, he inadvertently set off a chain reaction that caused the number of sweets and baked delicacies to skyrocket. The general populace always wanted to know what the Royal Couple was doing, wearing, or eating so that they could follow suite. So when the masses found out that Bilbo loved to bake, suddenly everyone was making their own baked creations in the comforts of their own homes. And for those who couldn’t quite master the basics of baking, the bread shops were selling what pastries they could produce.

It wasn’t really a bad thing, the boom of cakes and other such treats. The price of honey and sugar escalated because the demand was high. This meant that trade with Dale was good. For what dwarven made products the Men needed, they only needed to trade the necessary ingredients. Wheat was plentiful because the land was fertile. A century with nothing leeching the nutrients from the soil meant that they were replenished.

For Bilbo’s more _exotic_ creations, Nori usually provided the ingredients. The two had a don’t-ask-don’t-tell policy. Bilbo trusted that the items Nori brought him were acquired through somewhat legal means. Or at least he trusted that Nori wouldn’t get caught if it weren’t entirely legal.

Chocolate, Bilbo found out, was not something the dwarves had in abundance. Nor was it something that the dwarves typically imported. Hence the need for shadier suppliers.

It was important because Thorin apparently had a sweet tooth. One that had never really been developed. Bilbo was making it his goal to have the King taste as many pastries as possible.

They made it a habit. Bilbo would surprise Thorin with dessert after dinner. Each day was a different dessert. Whatever Bilbo had excess of (because they couldn’t really finish a whole cake by themselves) went to Fili and Kili.

That night, Bilbo baked Thorin a cheesecake that he topped off with strawberries. It was a fairly simple recipe, one that a tween back in the Shire could make. It was only the jam, for the strawberry topping, that took time to make.

When Thorin took that first bite, the look on his face made all the effort that went into producing the cake worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had too much cheesecake. And I still want more. lol


	16. Vaccine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Modern AU. Uncle Thorin has to bring his nephews in for their vaccines. Guess who's the doctor.

Thorin sighed as he yet again adjusted Kili on his lap. In a room full of squirming children and bawling ones, Thorin figured that he was lucky enough that only Kili was misbehaving. Fili was sitting right beside him, perfectly content with playing his nintendo.

Thorin shook his head. Why Dis and Vili decided to leave their kids with him while they went on holiday was beyond him. His usual routine was home, work, gym, then home. He only broke it on Fridays when they had dinner at Dis’ house. It wasn’t that he disliked his nephews, quite the contrary, he loved the two boys as much as he would if they were his own. But he highly doubted that he was the best caretaker that they could be left with.

“It was either you or Frerin,” Dis explained when she told him that he’d be taking care of his nephews. “And given Frerin’s current lifestyle…”

No more needed to be said. Frerin was still going through his partying stage. He could only be relied on to watch the kids in the afternoons since he was asleep most mornings and out most nights. The rest of the family just hoped that he’d eventually grow out of it.

Still, Thorin couldn’t believe that Dis “forgot” to tell him that the kids were supposed to get shots until the last possible moment. If he knew that he was supposed to bring them to the doctor, he wouldn’t have agreed to watch them.

Kili hated the doctor.

Not that Kili had ever said outright that he hated his pediatrician, it was just that whenever a check-up was mentioned, Kili would scowl fiercely. Dis told him it was just that the boy associated the doctor’s office with shots, not that he hated Doctor Baggins. Dis insisted that both boys loved the doctor.

As they entered the doctor’s room, Thorin expected some old man who made silly faces to greet them. Instead it was a man who looked like he couldn’t have finished his undergraduate degree yet, much less be a pediatrician. Doctor Baggins introduced himself, telling Thorin that Dis had phoned in to inform them that he would be the one to bring the kids in. After a bit of small talk, the doctor injected Fili with his vaccine with no problems at all.

“NO!” Kili screamed when it was his turn.

“Kili, we’ve been through this before,” Bilbo explained calmly. “Fili was okay with it, see?” “

But he gots a lollypop!” Kili complained.

“And so will you,” Bilbo reassured him. “After we’re done with your shot.” “

But I don’t wanna!” Kili complained.

It took a few minutes, but the doctor was obviously used to Kili’s antics and eventually convinced the boy to get his shot. Thorin was amazed. Usually when Kili said no, nothing and no one could convince him otherwise. Doctor Baggins, it seemed, had a way with his nephews.

As they were leaving, Thorin thought that he should probably take up Dis’ offer to set him up with the doctor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I figured that Bilbo would make an okay pediatrician. And vaccines are important. Really important.


	17. Anniversary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They were childhood friends who drifted apart. Until Thorin's parents' anniversary party brought them back together.

Bilbo and Thorin grew up together. They were next door neighbours, their parents had them playing together before popularity and school cliques got in the way. They were close too, having the same interests in books and movies.

Thorin always complained about his siblings. Well, he complained about Frerin. When Dis was born, he had no idea what to do with a little sister. He told Bilbo as much.

“Youre lucky that you have siblings,” Bilbo insisted. He didn’t like being an only child. It wasn’t until he was much older that his parents told him that their blood incompatibilities would have made a second pregnancy risky.

“I guess,” Thorin replied. They were ten years old, not quite grown-up yet. “It’s just that I don’t see why my parents had to have those two, not that I don’t love them! It’s just that you get all your parents’ attention and I get at most a third of it.”

“I never really thought of it that way,” Bilbo admitted. “Don’t worry Thorin, you have all my attention.”

And he did. Even through puberty and high school, when Thorin became a distant friend at most because of all the sports teams he was joining, while Bilbo became involved with the school paper, Thorin still had all the other boy’s attention. After graduation, they kept in touch. But it was difficult and sporadic. Their childhood friendship seemingly forgotten with the hustle and bustle of everyday life.

It was years down the line, when the Bagginses received an invitation to the Durins’ anniversary party that Bilbo even stopped to look back and wonder where they fell apart.

When they saw each other next, there were was no romantic eye contact across the ballroom, or a sudden romantic song playing in the background. They started with a simple greeting, moved on to a short conversation, and ended up with plans for coffee.

It took a few months, close to a year really, but they were as close as they were when they were children. A few of their friends teased them, saying that they were such a cute couple and all that.

They both denied it, but their denials fell on deaf ears. Even Thorin’s siblings thought they were a couple.

So when it eventually happened, nobody was surprised.

Instead, the couple was surprised by the fair amount of money changing hands when they announced that they were together. Frerin was shaking his head because he bet that it would take longer for them to come out. Dis on the other hand, was seen smirking because she knew all along that her brother and Bilbo would end up together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a plan. But I ran out of time. But I had a plan!  
> ...I think.


	18. Period

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Modern AU. Fem!Bilbo has menstrual cramps. Thorin plays the caring boyfriend.

“Hey there,” Thorin said when he came into their apartment.

Bilbo was curled up on the sofa, a hot water bottle was in the general area of her lower abdomen. She looked up at him and frowned.

“Hey,” she replied, wincing as she tried to get up. Thorin stopped her with a hand to her shoulder.

“Don’t get up,” he said, crouching down so they could be at eye level. “I got dinner.”

“Not hungry,” she whispered.

“I also got ice cream.”

Her eyes lit up.

“Chocolate or strawberry?”

He knew it was a trick. On any other day, Bilbo would love either of those two flavors. But when she was in pain like this, only one flavour would suffice.

“Raspberry with chocolate syrup.”

“You know me so well,” Bilbo smiled.

And Thorin did. They’ve been together for nearly five years, and before that they’ve always been friends. There were days when Bilbo thought that Thorin knew her better than she knew herself.

“But you have to eat dinner first,” Thorin said. “You know how bad your cramps get if you don’t eat.”

“Ice cream will--” Bilbo began, but Thorin cut her off.

“Ice cream won’t,” he replied.

They have the same argument almost every month. Ice cream helps Bilbo’s cramps for a little while, but because she’s lactose intolerant, it makes her poop more. Leading to her cramps getting worse.

“Just a bit of food,” Thorin continued. “Then a bit of ice cream. And then a pain reliever.”

“You’re not the boss of me,” Bilbo complained weakly. This wasn’t an argument that she won very often. When she did win it, she’d end up regretting it because of all the pain in her abdomen.

“No,” Thorin agreed. “But you have to admit that my plan has a better outcome than yours.”

“Fine,” she grudgingly said. “But only a bit of food.”

Thorin helped her get up. He didn’t need to, but he used any excuse to touch her. He loved touching her.

She ended up eating the entire serving and some of his food as well, despite her claims of not being hungry. She also ended up eating more ice cream than she usually did, just to be contrary. She’d pay for it soon, she knew, but Bilbo didn’t care.

Screw the consequences.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cramps because... honestly that's the first thing that came to mind when I saw period. I know that not many women have them, but for some, like me, it's quite horrible. As much as I like being independent, when you're in pain, nothing is better than having someone pamper you.


	19. Shadow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Percy Jackson AU. Thorin got Bilbo a present that Bilbo could appreciate.

Thorin shadow-walked into Camp Half-Blood. This startled Bilbo who was just talking to a rose bush that he was tending.

“Can you not do that?” Bilbo asked, obviously annoyed by the other half-blood. “Trees might find it fine for you to pop out from out of their shadows, but other flowering plants are more sensitive to things like that.”

“Flowering plants like yourself?” Thorin smirked, adjusting his stygian iron sword with one hand. “I thought I’d get a better welcome, considering the lengths I went through to get you this.”

He raised his other hand to show Bilbo the sapling in a sack that he was carrying. Bilbo’s eyes widened as he slowly stood up. Wiping his hands on his clothes, he approached Thorin.

“Is that what I think it is?” Bilbo asked, still disbelieving. “Is that a Franklin Tree sapling?”

“Some rare member of the tea family that you’ve wanted to try breeding for a long time now?” Thorin teased, obviously smug about his acquisition. “Yes.”

“Is it for me?” Bilbo blushed. Thorin had been expressing his affection towards Bilbo for a while now. But the child of Demeter did not appreciate Thorin’s gifts of precious gems as much as the son of Hades thought he would. The sapling however, Bilbo’s eyes sparkled as he examined the plant.

“Who else is it for?” Thorin asked. “After all the trouble I went through just to get this…”

“Trouble?” Bilbo asked, pausing his observation of the sapling. “Don’t tell me you broke into a greenhouse for this!”

“Don’t worry, I won’t get caught,” Thorin shrugged. “Besides, I left what I thought would be an adequate payment. I’m not Nori.”

Bilbo was certain that Thorin might have overpaid for the sapling, but brushed the thought off. At least it was paid for. He smiled up at the other boy.

“So, would you like to help me plant it?” Bilbo asked shyly. He already had a plot ready for it. Thorin did promise him that he’d get a sample. It wasn’t sworn on the River Styx, but Thorin’s promises held just as much meaning.

“Me? Plant a tree?” Thorin chuckled. “Oh no, it’ll just die in my hands. I’d like to watch you though.”

Thorin did have the whole son of Hades thing, and he was associated with death a lot. Around camp he was associated with wealth more, but in battle… In battle Thorin was a sight to behold, especially when he called in his legion of the undead.

“Alright,” Bilbo agreed. “Come on! We have to get this planted!”

“Now?” Thorin asked. “Don’t I get a reward for fulfilling this quest?”

“It wasn’t much of a quest,” Bilbo complained. “You just snuck into a greenhouse, found a sapling with the label _Franklinia alatamaha_ , and shadow-walked back out. You probably didn’t even break a sweat!”

“I didn’t,” Thorin nodded. “But I think I still deserve a reward.”

“Oh fine, come here.”

Bilbo pulled on Thorin’s collar and gave him a rather passionate kiss, enough to convey his thanks and appreciation for the present and then some.

“Happy?”

Oh Thorin was most definitely happy. He smiled at Bilbo, who was blushing even though the other boy was the one who initiated the kiss. Thorin wondered what his reward would be if he snuck into the lab holding the sterile Chocolate Cosmos. Bilbo did mention something about wanting to try to breed it back to fertility or whatnot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So in case I haven't mentioned it yet, I'm also a huge Percy Jackson fan. In this verse, Thorin is a son of Hades, Bilbo is a son of Demeter. Nori would be a son of Hermes, Dwalin would be a son of Ares, while Balin would be a son of Athena.


	20. Ice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin wakes up after the Battle.

Thorin felt something cool on his forehead as he came to. The last thing that he could remember was passing out on the ice near Raven Hill. Bilbo was there and he was saying his goodbyes. Thorin assumed that he was in the Halls, but surely if he did pass into Mahal’s land, his body wouldn’t be in so much pain. He tried to get up but a hand stopped him.

“Steady,” a gruff voice said. “You’re not quite well yet Thorin.”

It was Dwalin. Thorin knew that voice anywhere. If Dwalin was there, he couldn’t be dead yet, could he?

“Aye, steady there laddie,” another voice chimed in from farther away. “We almost lost you there for a while. The elves may have faults, but they know their healing arts.”

“The boys?” Thorin asked. His voice was gravelly from disuse.

“In the beds right next to you,” yet another voice said. This one was beloved, not that the other two weren’t, it was just that Bilbo was…Bilbo. “I swear, your line was quite gung-ho about dying that day. But we’re all glad that you didn’t. That none of you did.”

Thorin chuckled. He could hear Bilbo’s blush from that sentence.

“I was not gung-ho!” Thorin heard Kili protest from the next bed.

“I was unconscious for the most of it,” Fili’s voice sounded weak, but it was there, which was a comfort to Thorin.

Dis wasn’t going to kill him.

“Laddie drink this,” Balin said as Thorin was held up, probably by Dwalin, and a cup was brought to his lips. “It’s for the pain.”

“I’m not in pain,” Thorin informed them, but he drank anyway.

“Of course you’re not,” Bilbo scoffed, lifting the cool rag away from Thorin’s head. “We’ve been keeping you on steady doses to make sure you don’t feel a thing.”

“What?” Thorin tried to open his eyes, but he saw nothing but black. “My eyes?”

“Are fine,” Balin assured him. “Oin checked. We just kept a cloth over them to make sure your rest is undisturbed.”

“But you still kept me in the same tent as my sister-sons,” Thorin joked. “How is that peaceful?”

“They woke not long ago,” Bilbo explained as he untied the cloth covering Thorn’s eye. “Hello.”

The first thing Thorin saw was Bilbo’s smile. His eyes focused and he saw the tent he was in. Dwalin was over in the corner with his arms crossed as usual. Balin was at Fili’s bedside helping the elder prince up to drink what Thorin assumed was the same pain-relieving potion. Fili was still pale, but that was better than being dead. Kili was, for some reason, restrained to his bed.

“He tried to escape,” Bilbo said as he saw the furrow in Thorin’s brow. “It would have reopened his wounds.”

Thorin smiled. All in all, it wasn’t a bad way to wake up.


	21. Breakfast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo just got off duty from the hospital.

It had been a long shift, but it was finally over. Or at least Bilbo was finally on a two-hour break where he can get a bath and some food and maybe even a nap.

Sometimes Bilbo thought that medical school wasn’t worth it.

As he approached his apartment door, he could smell food cooking. Eggs and bacon maybe. He wasn’t sure but whenever his boyfriend was the one cooking, it would usually be those and toast. Bilbo heard the ding of the toaster and chuckled, it was definitely bacon and eggs with toast.

Bilbo slid in his key and opened the door.

“I’m home,” he called out. “Wake me when breakfast is ready.”

“Rough night?” Thorin asked, his head peeking through the kitchen door.

He didn’t really need to be up at five am making breakfast. Thorin had normal work hours. Well, regular hours at the law firm, time spent prepping for cases tended to vary depending on the case.

“Ugh,” Bilbo groaned, flopping down on the couch. He was too filthy to even consider the bed. “Too many cases. So much blood. And screaming children. There was an accident.”

Thorin waited for Bilbo to continue. He knew that the other man hated it when children were involved in accidents, or when those involved in accidents were the sole caretaker for a child. Bilbo had a soft spot for children.

“And Drogo and Prim were involved,” Bilbo shook his head. He sniffed the air. “Your bacons burning?”

“What?” Thorin glanced over at the frying pan. “Oh!”

While his boyfriend went off to save breakfast, Bilbo closed his eyes and thought about the accident. Drogo and Prim were his cousins. No relation at all to each other, but they were both related to him. They got married a few years back and had a wonderful little boy, Frodo, who was, thankfully enough, sleeping over at a friend’s house when the accident happened.

Given that they were hit while on a motorcycle, Bilbo wondered at their chances of recovery. It wasn’t really his case, he was just called in. He was doing his rotation in the anaesthesiology department, and the two were being managed by the surgery department.

Bilbo hoped they would be alright. Frodo had nobody else.

“Breakfast?” Thorin asked, bringing a plate over.

“Thanks,” Bilbo sat up and took the plate.

Whatever was going to happen could wait. He was no good to anyone if he was hungry, sleepy, and dead tired.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it sounds inhumane that people coming off 24-hour shifts would be expected to report back in after only two hours, but it's a reality where I'm from. Sometimes people don't even get the two-hour break, they just continue on to complete 36-hour shifts. So please, be nice to your medical team, especially those still in-training because they spend so much time tending to patients that they don't have time for their own basic needs.


	22. Coffee

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Like most people, Thorin needs coffee to jump start his day.

Thorin was not a morning person. In fact, before his morning coffee, he wasn’t quite certain that he could qualify as human. He wasn’t dependent per se, coffee just kick-started his day. Without his first cup, it would take a few hours before he could be fully functional.

This necessity wasn’t a good thing to need during the holidays. Not when he gets frequent wake-up calls from his nephews.

“UNCLE!”

A body jumped into bed, causing Thorin to groan and try to cover his head with a pillow.

“Kili not fair! Wait for me!”

Another body crashed into the bed, making Thorin’s head throb when the two squirming bodies started bothering him. Thorin groaned.

“Kids, you know better.”

A welcome voice was at the doorway, bringing a welcome smell with it.

“Aw Uncle Bilbo,” Kili whined. “We rarely get to wake up before Uncle Thorin!”

“For good reason,” Thorin mumbled. He pulled the pillow off of his head. “Good morning boys, husband.”

“Morning Uncle!” both boys chirped, tackling him as they did.

“Boys go downstairs,” Bilbo said, approaching the bed. “I think your mother has breakfast ready.”

“But we want to spend time with Uncle!” Fili insisted, clinging to Thorin.

“Later,” Bilbo promised. “Dis is already down there. She might eat all the chocolate chip pancakes.”

“She wouldn’t!” Kili exclaimed in horror.

He was young. It was a very reasonable thing to believe when you were six. He ran out of the room as quickly as he could, shouting at Fili to follow him and at Dis not to eat all the chocolate.

Fili snorted and followed at a more sedate pace. He was nine and he knew that Dis couldn’t possibly eat that many pan cakes. Besides, the one they should look out for was their Uncle Frerin and he was never up before the boys.

“You’re an angel,” Thorin told Bilbo as he held his hand out eagerly for the cup of salvation that was his morning coffee.

“That’s why you married me,” Bilbo joked, passing the cup over. “For the life of me I can’t understand why you like it black.”

Thorin would never tell him that it was because black coffee had lesser calories. It was fine for Bilbo to have a slight pudge around his middle, Bilbo was attractive no matter how he looked.

“You just dislike bitter things,” Thorin replied drinking his cup.

“Hey, I detest that,” Bilbo protested and leaned over to give Thorin a kiss. “I married you, didn’t I?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need coffee most days because if I don't, I get a caffeine headache 2 hours after I wake up. Haha. I figured that Thorin, who's something of a workaholic, would need it too. The black coffee having less calories thing is just a random thought that got in.


	23. Tea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tea solves everything.

That the kettle was whistling long before Bilbo stood up to get it was a testament to how deep in thought the hobbit was. It wasn’t a common occurrence, him thinking about his problems so much that he would block out his surroundings.

He handled the hot kettle with ease and poured what water there was inside into a teapot.

“Tea cures everything,” his mother had told him once when he was little. As fanciful at that sounded, Bilbo believed it as a fauntling.

When he became a tween, he became a bit sceptical about the healing powers of tea. His father however, had amended his mother’s saying.

“Tea cures everything,” his father quoted. “Or it tries to.”

Bilbo knew that some of his relatives believed that tea was restorative, as long as you splashed in a healthy amount of whisky. Bilbo himself did that at times, but this night did not call for any additives to his tea.

His time after his parents’ deaths made him realise that the simple act of making tea could be cathartic in itself. Waiting for the water to boil, for the tea to steep, and finally making that perfect cup could ease the days troubles.

His troubles now were more than a day in the making. Which is why Bilbo set out a plate of biscuits to have with his evening tea. He sighed.

What else could his troubles be about? Recently, ever since his hasty exit of Bag End chasing after dwarves to be precise, most of his troubles revolved around the dwarf.

After the Battle, Bilbo was certain that he would leave the Mountain as soon as he was able. Fili was the one who pointed out that he should stay the winter since the Misty Mountains were not easy to traverse at that time. So Bilbo stayed. He was given quarters near the royal family, as a token of their esteem, they said.

When spring had thawed the ice, Balin had asked the hobbit to help with planning the fields, a project that would ensure that Erebor’s dwarves and the Men of Dale would be fed. Bilbo agreed seeing that no one else seemed to be up to the task. The Men were all fishers and only cultured small crops, instead trading with the elves for their vegetables. Dwarves weren’t used to planting, only a small number of them even knew how.

As soon as planting season was over, Bilbo was sure that he would get to leave. Kili put a stop to his plans by pointing out that Thorin’s sister, Dis, would like to meet him and that she would be arriving soon.

On and on the excuses for him to stay kept piling up. He didn’t mind it much because his relationship with Thorin was becoming something much like it was before they reached the Mountain, yet different. It seemed like there was an undercurrent of promise in every action that Thorin made.

Bilbo thought it meant that Thorin wanted him to stay. Permanently. As a member of the family perhaps. In Bilbo’s dreams he saw himself as Consort to Thorin. And everyone else seemed to think he would become that soon enough.

Except Thorin started pulling back recently. He became evasive, spent less time with Bilbo. He even missed the Company’s usual Friday dinners just the week past.

Bilbo took a sip of his tea. Perhaps he had outstayed his welcome.

Perhaps Thorin found out about Bilbo’s desires and was sick of him.

Perhaps…

A knock sounded on his door.

It was Thorin. With a ring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep Bilbo is a tea person.   
> And having a tea chapter right after the coffee chapter is intentional.  
> As for the cliffhanger-ish ending, I ran out of time.


	24. Sober

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Modern AU. Bilbo's drunk and needs to get his bag in order to leave so he could avoid Thorin. The universe decides to bring Thorin to him anyway.

Bilbo was never drinking ever again. It didn’t matter that Bofur and Nori would call him a stick in the mud before proceeding to bribe him into coming with them. He would never drink again.

Or he wouldn’t have another drink that night anyway.

Bilbo breathed in the cold night air. He dreaded returning to Nori’s boyfriend’s apartment, stuffed full of people as it was. He didn’t understand how Ori, Nori’s brother who was much more of an introvert than Bilbo, could stand it.

As much as he didn’t want to go back inside, he had no choice. He left his laptop in there. While he couldn’t possibly get any work done tonight, or tomorrow morning, he still had some work to do and he figured that it would be better if he did it as soon as he could rather than waste time coming over and retrieving the bag tomorrow.

Or later since it was well past midnight.

Besides, Bilbo was avoiding Nori’s boyfriend’s… ah screw it. It was difficult to call Thorin something vague like that when Bilbo was as soused as he currently was. It would be difficult to come back tomorrow and get his laptop bag without running into Thorin.

Thorin who was Frerin’s brother. Frerin who worked with Bilbo and teased him a lot.

Frerin who tried to set him up with Thorin.

Who Bilbo saw as before he could be shown to the table.

Thorin who Bilbo stood up that one time because, honestly, what could Frerin have been thinking setting a person like Bilbo up with a person like Thorin.

Bilbo had hoped that Frerin didn’t tell Thorin who stood him up, but he doubted it. Especially since their last interaction was a bit… cold on Thorin’s part.

They had been going off to watch a movie. Bilbo was third-wheeling with Nori and Dwalin as usual when they saw Thorin and dragged him along. The hints Thorin dropped that night made Bilbo want to crawl into a hole and die.

Bilbo pushed himself off the wall, fully intent on getting his bag, but his legs didn’t seem to want to support him. He tipped over and would have fallen flat on his face if it weren’t for someone catching him.

“Thanks,” Bilbo said, leaning into the other person. “I’m not quite as steady as I-- oh!”

“Oh?” Thorin asked, looking down at him with a raised eyebrow. “Oh what, Mister Baggins?”

Bilbo struggled to get his footing. Of course this would happen. The universe knew that he was going to do everything he can to avoid the other man, so of course the universe would send Thorin his way.

“Uh,” Bilbo floundered, still in Thorin’s arms. “Uh. Thank you for catching me.”

“So you said,” Thorin acknowledged smoothly.

Bilbo scowled. He could see that Thorin’s cheeks were red. His breath carried the smell of alcohol. How on earth could he still come off so smooth when he was probably as soused as Bilbo?

“Uh,” Bilbo stuttered. “You could let go of me now.”

“I’d rather not,” Thorin replied.          

“Huh?”

“See Bilbo,” Thorin explained. His arm seemed to be tightening its hold. “I’ve been trying to get you alone for some time now.”

“If this is about that blind date,” Bilbo began quickly, fully intending to apologize, but Thorin cut him off.

“We’ll get to that,” Thorin said. “See, I always thought that we were too different to get along, but I tried because you were Nori’s friend.”

Bilbo nodded, not quite sure where this was going.

“Then Frerin couldn’t stop talking about you,” Thorin continued. “Specifically about how much he thought we’d be good for each other. I thought about it for a while, and figured that since we’re both currently unattached and have several common friends, then maybe we could try and be friends. So I asked Frerin to set up a casual coffee with you.”

“But that was--“

“A date, yes,” Thorin agreed. “My siblings are a bit obsessive with setting me up, so that’s what happened. And after a while I got to thinking.”

“Oh no,” Bilbo groaned. “This is why Nori keeps dragging me over and bringing me along, isn’t it?”

“So we could spend time together, yes.”

“Oh goodness,” Bilbo leaned against Thorin, enjoying having the other man’s arms around him, and yet dying of mortification inside. “Well, if you’re game, why not?”

Thorin smiled down at him. At one point, Bilbo thought that they would kiss, but Thorin just helped him collect his laptop and rode with him in a cab back to his apartment. Bilbo was obviously puzzled over this, but Thorin explained it well.

“We’ll talk again when you’re sober.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Christmas Eve everyone! In the Philippines this is a big day for food and family! And gifts! Haha. So here's my gift to all of you nice people. ^.^


	25. Gifts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life is a gift. Merry Christmas!

All hobbits liked to receive presents. All hobbits also liked to give presents. The best present that Bilbo gave Thorin was agreeing to marry him. The best present that Thorin gave to Bilbo was every day of their continued existence together.

But some presents were a little more tangible than others. Like that year Bilbo went back to the Shire for a visit and came home with a little fauntling in tow.

“I had accepted my lot in life,” Thorin told Bilbo as they watched Frodo sleep. “I had accepted that the closest I would ever be to being a father is through my sister-sons. But you hobbits never cease to amaze me. You have brought me a son.”

“You’re a sap,” Bilbo said, leaning into his husband. “I took Frodo in because it was the right thing to do. The poor dear had no one else, just like I didn’t before you lot came along. He reminds me of myself.”

“I’m your sap,” Thorin fondly replied, putting an arm around Bilbo. “And it was a good decision to bring him here. Fili and Kili are already planning out his training. Balin is probably dusting off primers to teach him with. Dori and Ori are planning on knitting him something.”

“That’s not all,” Bilbo said, shaking his head. “Nori was muttering to himself about taking on a hobbit apprentice, seeing as how light on our feet we are. I put a stop to his nonsense, of course.”

“Of course,” Thorin agreed. In his mind though, he knew that he was going to ask Nori to teach Frodo some skills to get the lad out of any troublesome situation. “Shall we retire?”

The year passed and Frodo settled into Erebor. The boy didn’t seem to mind that he was different from the others. He felt welcome and cherished. He never lacked for attention. Fili and Kili made sure of it.

The two princes became good friends with Frodo. They insisted on calling him cousin. They also insisted that Frodo was a dwobbit. Whatever scrapes they got into, they made sure that Frodo got the most fun out of life.

Which was why Frodo wanted to bake them cookies.

“Fili and Kili deserve cookies.”

The boy said it in such a way that Bilbo knew it was a declaration. His heart swelled because Frodo was mimicking Thorin, and it was an adorable thing to watch.

“As the Prince wishes,” Bilbo sketched a bow. “What sort of cookies do you want to make for them?”

Frodo’s brow furrowed as he thought, an action he got from Thorin. But his lip jutted out ever so slightly, something that Bilbo was wont to do.

“You decide!” Frodo said. “I will assist.”

It didn’t matter that they weren’t blood related, Frodo was so clearly Thorin’s son. Bilbo couldn’t help himself.  He cuddled Frodo until the faunt was struggling in his arms, eager to get away.

Later that evening Bilbo told Thorin his observation and the king just chuckled.

“Of course he is my son,” Thorin said. “And he is your son as well. Never forget that.”

The day Frodo stopped calling them “Uncle Bilbo” and “Uncle Thorin” and instead called them “Dad” and “Adad” was a gift to them indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shmoop! Family schmoop! Gahhh.  
> Merry Christmas!


	26. Leftovers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo and Thorin talk about leftovers. Thorin learns once again never to underestimate hobbits.

“Why do we even have leftovers?” Bilbo asked as he surveyed the table. “I mean, I cooked a lot, I know, but I thought it would just be enough!”

“Ghivashel,” Thorin shook his head. “With the feast you prepared, I was wondering if you have invited others, and not just Dis and the Company.”

“Who else would I invite?”

It was true, now that Thorin thought about it. Bilbo’s days were spent learning dwarvish culture and the duties that he would be expected to take up when he became Thorin’s consort. All of his lessons were taught by either Balin, Ori, or Dis.

“What I don’t understand is how they could have decimated my pantry before the quest,” Bilbo explained. “But they couldn’t finish this spread.”

“They were weary from travel and knew they would spending a few months on the road,” Thorin pointed out. “Anyone in that condition would consume all that they could when they can.”

Thorin might not have said the words outright, but Bilbo understood what he left unspoken. The dwarves lived in poverty before, not always having enough to be full, sometimes not even having enough to keep the hunger away. Still, Bilbo sighed.

“What are we going to do with all of this?” he gestured to the leftovers. “There’s too much here for us to consume.”

“We can give these away to those who have none,” Thorin said. “Nori could take care of it. I’m certain he and Ori know a few children in need.”

And they would. Nori was Thorin’s spymaster, but that didn’t mean that the former thief gave up his not-so-legal connections, to Dwalin’s dismay. It also meant that he knew most, if not all, the urchins in the lower levels of Erebor who had no one else. Ori helped him by giving those children an education. Bilbo hoped that when he was Consort, he would be able to set up some sort of home for those children.

“How much did you make anyway?” Thorin asked.

“Not much,” Bilbo said. “Just enough for fifteen.”

“This was good for fifteen?” Thorin said, shocked because he had estimated that Bilbo had prepared enough for a good twenty-something.

“Oh yes,” Bilbo nodded, missing the look on his intended’s face. “Good for fifteen full-grown hobbits.”

Thorin shook his head. Hobbits never ceased to amaze. His consort-to-be especially. He gave the hobbit a fond smile.

“Bilbo, let the servants handle that,” Thorin said, still smiling. “Come here.”

“Oh no I won’t Thorin Oakenshield,” Bilbo put his hands on his hips. “I know that look. The others left us unchaperoned because they trust us. Would you betray their trust?”

“Never,” Thorin swore. “But surely a little affection could go unpunished?”

“Perhaps,” Bilbo replied. Even though he knew that Thorin’s definition of ‘a little affection’ was a bit different from others, he walked over to his fiancé anyway.

Surely they deserved to break the rules every once in a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Leftovers Day! Well, Boxing Day for those who celebrate it, but for me, it's leftovers day!


	27. Cinnamon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin bothers Bilbo while Bilbo is baking. Yes, that sort of bothering.

“That smells good,” Thorin said as he entered the kitchen. “What are you baking?”

“Just a little treat for the boys,” Bilbo replied. He opened the oven door to check on the rolls. “They deserve it after all the hard work they’ve been doing recently.”

“And why do they get special attention?” Thorin mock complained. “I do a lot of hard work too. I am the King, you know?”

Bilbo chuckled as he made his way to the countertop where the cream cheese topping was. That Thorin had a teasing side was nice to discover. With all the adventure and misadventures they went through to get to Erebor, that side of the king was rarely shown. Bilbo did have brief glimpses of it during the journey.

After the Battle, after all the apologies, after rebuilding their friendship and turning it into something more, Bilbo found out how much of the boys’ mischief was something that ran in the family. Tooks had a mischievous side too, and it was a side of Bilbo that he didn’t show very often. But the situation called for it.

“Yes, yes,” Bilbo placated. “You are the King, and you work hard. But you have me, don’t you? Am I not enough of a reward? Perhaps you would like to come home to baked goodies instead of a husband, hmm?”

Thorin’s eyes widened, wondering if he had perhaps overstepped. One look at his husband’s face however told him that Bilbo was just jesting.

“Ah Ghivashel,” Thorin said, lowering his the timbre of his voice. Perhaps it would be a better idea to make Bilbo blush. Who was he kidding? Making Bilbo blush would always be a better idea. “The boys deserve baked goods, as all boys do. Grown dwarves however, need more than just food. We have… other cravings that need to be satisfied as well.”

“Oh?” Bilbo asked, fully aware of Thorin’s game. It was not the first time they’ve played it after all.

“Yes,” Thorin nodded, stepping behind Bilbo and reaching around the hobbit to hold the smaller hand in his. “Full-grown dwarves have… sophisticated tastes.”

The last two words were whispered into Bilbo’s ear, causing him to shiver. The hand holding his started stirring the cream cheese before spooning up a bit and holding it to Bilbo’s mouth.

“Open,” Thorin suggested. And Bilbo complied. Before anything else could happen, the doors to their chambers opened with a bang, causing the two to jump apart.

“BILBO! I smell cinnamon baking!”

“Kili! You really should knock!”

The two princes came barrelling into the Royal Chambers with Kili in the lead, as usual. They stopped when they saw how much their uncles were flushing.

“We disturbed something, didn’t we?” Kili asked sheepishly.

“I told you that you should knock first,” Fili reprimanded. “We’re sorry Uncles.”

“You didn’t disturb anything,” Thorin assured them, knowing full well that Bilbo would be just frazzled enough to parrot him.

“You really didn’t disturb anything boys,” Bilbo nodded, a little too vigorously. “I was just getting the topping ready for the rolls.”

“The rolls which are burning,” Thorin supplied.

“The rolls which are—WHAT?” Bilbo quickly dashed to the oven, leaving the three of the Line of Durin to chuckle at him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: No cinnamon rolls were harmed in the making of this fic.


	28. Losing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Modern AU. Durins are not graceful losers.

Thorin was a sore loser. This was a known truth among those close to him. While Dwalin was the one who teased him the most about being somewhat less than graceful whenever he lost, Dwalin was also, but to a lesser extent, a sore loser. This caused Bilbo to speculate that it was a trait that their family shared.

The more he thought about it, the more plausible it seemed to become. Dis wasn’t much of a sore loser, but that was only because she wasn’t much of a loser in general. She was just that good at picking her battles.

Balin also picked his battles, mainly those of wit and logic. But Bilbo had never seen the older man sour grape about a loss. Thorin insisted that Balin was just as bad as they were when they were younger.

The boys however were another story.

Fili could throw a tantrum like the best of them when he lost at something. But these tantrums were few and far in between. When Bilbo was first introduced to the boy, he doubted Thorin’s claims about it, but after one spectacular episode, it could not be denied that Fili was indeed a Durin.

Kili on the other hand was also a sore loser. Unlike the rest of the family though, Kili never seemed to hold a grudge. His pouts were also shorter than most.

Bilbo just accepted that losing gracefully was not something to expect from the family.

Given how mellow Bilbo’s family is, he never expected Frodo to become a sore loser. The boy was Bilbo’s cousin of a sort, orphaned when his parents died, Bilbo decided to take him in and raise him.

At that time, he and Thorin had been dating a while, already quite committed to each other, but they had not been planning on marrying for some time yet.  When Frodo started calling Thorin ‘Da’, they decided to make it official. They got married and Thorin adopted Frodo.

What did surprise Bilbo was how much Frodo was Thorin’s son. From their similar mannerisms to the exact same pouty look that they adopted whenever they lost at Smash to Dwalin (who could never stop gloating) or Gimli (also a bad gloater).

Bilbo had raised his concerns regarding that, but Thorin had assured him.

“Bilbo,” Thorin said rubbing his husband’s back. “It’s perfectly healthy for someone to want to win at things.”

“Not to the degree your family takes it,” Bilbo muttered, causing Thorin to chuckle.

“True,” Thorin agreed, fully aware of his own faults. “But Frodo has you to remind him when to stop and take a breather. He’ll grow out of the tantrums.”

Bilbo sighed, accepting the assurance. Raising a child was difficult and there were no proper handbooks to follow, he was just so afraid that he’d screw up.

“Stop overthinking,” Thorin scolded, seeing the look on Bilbo’s face. “Frodo is safe, happy, and loved. And he knows this too. Stop worrying so much. We can do this.”

Bilbo smiled. Thorin was right. Together they can do anything. Except beat Dis at Let’s Dance (Thorin swore that she practised when no one was around just to make sure that she could win.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I generally don't mind losing at games. But when the winner gets a big head and all that, that's when I mind.


	29. Alphabet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo has to learn khuzdul.

Bilbo scowled as he saw the multitude of learning material that she had to go through. As future Consort, he had to learn everything he could about the Dwarves. At the beginning, it wasn’t a lot. Balin and Oin had to persuade the Council that he needed to learn more in order to become an effective Consort.

The Council had declined the vague general statement of what she was allowed to learn. So Balin, with Ori’s help, had to petition each lesson separately. It led to a staggered learning for Bilbo, but the hobbit had appreciated it.

Bilbo understood the Council’s doubts. They were a highly secretive race after all, and not all who wed a dwarf are allowed to learn much. Bilbo was only a special case because he would become Consort Under the Mountain.

After some time though, the Council tried a new tactic and approved a lot of lessons, but with the stipulation that he should be able to learn all of them in just a short time. Specifically, he had to learn them _before_ he married Thorin or else they wouldn’t acknowledge the union.

With all the preparations for their wedding almost completed, Bilbo had no choice but to learn everything as quickly as he could. Thorin had tried to convince the hobbit not to feel so pressured, but Bilbo had disagreed.

“I can do this,” he insisted as they were sitting opposite each other in his sitting room. “I have learned Sindarin, you know. I don’t see how Khuzdul would be beyond me.”

“Ghivashel please,” Thorin said in a calm voice. “It’s late. Kili is already asleep. You should be too.”

“That our chaperone is asleep is not my fault,” Bilbo replied, fully aware that it was his fault for stretching out the language lesson but not the least bit remorseful. At least Kili was comfortable, stretched out on the couch as he was. “It was your Council that set the deadline, and I should be able to grasp even the basics of Khuzdul by then.”

“The Council can go jump into the Long Lake,” Thorin complained. “You do not need to prove yourself. You have done enough already.”

Bilbo shook his head. Thorin had that apologetic look on his face once again, the one that told Bilbo that the King was thinking about his gold sickness and what damage it caused on their relationship.

“Stop thinking about that Thorin,” Bilbo said softly, reaching a hand to the King’s cheek. “It’s all water under the bridge.”

“But I--” Thorin began but Bilbo placed a finger on his lips.

“No buts,” Bilbo replied. “We can do this, I can do this. Believe in me.”

Thorin did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 29 of 31! Two more and I'm done!  
> Gah, let me take this time to thank each and every person who has read this collection, I sincerely hope that you enjoyed it. To those who have commented, thank you so much! I enjoy reading feedback, even the really short ones. They make my day. ^.^


	30. Milk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ModernAU. Fem!Bilbo is up late making a bottle for bb!Frodo.

Bilbo hated getting up at night. She hated staying up late. She hated having an irregular sleep pattern. She was a morning person, and she always had been, but ever since Frodo came into their lives, she had to adjust to the infant’s schedule, which was erratic at best.

She rubbed her eyes in an attempt to stay awake. The bottle heater had an automatic timer, which was a good thing. But all the timers in the world wouldn’t help if she fell asleep on her feet.

“Bilbo?” Thorin called, peeking his head into their kitchen. “Are you okay here?”

She made an affirmative sound, not wanting her husband to worry. He had no problem adjusting to the baby’s schedule. He had his fair share of late nights for work. He couldn’t really help her with Frodo when he did work late. And when he didn’t Bilbo didn’t have it in her to wake him to care for the boy.

“I could do this you know,” he told her as he sidled up to her, holding her from behind. “You could just ask.”

“He’s my responsibility.”

That was true. Drogo and Primula left their boy to her. When they first asked her to be Frodo’s godmother, she agreed thinking that the most she had to do was get the boy presents for Christmas and his birthday. After their accident though, he was left in her care.

“And you’re mine,” Thorin said, rocking them from one foot to another in what he knew was a comforting way for Bilbo. “Share the burden. I don’t mind. You deserve to sleep more.”

“But--” Bilbo argued.

“No buts,” Thorin cut her off. “You’re my wife, and now Frodo’s my son. I did some babysitting for Dis and Vili when the boys were young, I can handle it.”

Before Bilbo could reply, the timer on the bottle heater dinged. Thorin let her go so that she could get the bottle. He followed her all the way to Frodo’s nursery.

The room wasn’t fully a nursery yet. It still had some of Bilbo’s crafting materials. They were in the process of converting her workroom into his nursery. Thorin had told her to move her things into his study, but she never did, saying that the closet under the stairs could hold her stuff until they could get renovations done.

The boy was almost awake when they entered. Thorin had no idea how Bilbo could have predicted that he would wake before he did. Bilbo moved towards the crib, but Thorin stopped her.

“Allow me,” Thorin said, going over and picking Frodo up. He was good at this and he knew it, what with Fili and Kili to practice on. He held his other hand out for the bottle.

“You don’t have to,” Bilbo protested but passed him the bottle. “I thought you had work to do?”

“Family comes first.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ONE MORE TO GO! ONE MORE TO GO!  
> I can't believe that I might actually finish all the days of December on this!!! WHooooooo!


	31. Wine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo looks back on the year.

**Wine**

Bilbo surveyed his sitting room, shaking his head at the mess. He supposed that he could just leave it for the servants to clean in the morning, but that wasn’t very hobbity of him. He sighed and started picking up the cushions and replacing then on his sofas.

“This year was a good one, wasn’t it?”

Bilbo looked over to his husband who was standing by the doorway to Frodo’s room. The Royal Suite had several rooms joined together by the sitting room. When Frodo came to join them, Bilbo just converted the room that was supposed to be his study into a bedroom for the boy.

“It’s not the New Year for you,” Bilbo reminded him.

True, the Dwarven calendar marked Durin’s Day as the start of the New Year. However, Bilbo wanted to keep some of the Shire’s traditions alive in Erebor, for his sake and for Frodo’s of course. His dwarves had no problem with this, it only meant more parties for them. And no dwarf ever said no to a good party.

“True Ghivashel,” Thorin said, walking over and helping his Consort straighten up the room. “But it is for you, and that makes my question a valid one.”

Bilbo laughed. Thorin was a stern but kind King to the general population, but to his family it was quite obvious that the King was a sap.

“It was a good year,” Bilbo agreed, smiling up at his husband.

The year started out terrible. Bilbo had received word that his cousins Drogo and Primula had a nasty accident and that Frodo was left in his care. Bilbo had to travel all the way to the Shire and fight for his right to take the fauntling back to Erebor.

When he got back to Erebor, it was a struggle to get Frodo to be comfortable in such a strange place. It was so bad that Bilbo had contemplated moving back to the Shire permanently. Bilbo frowned as he remembered the argument that idea had caused.

“You are Consort!” Thorin had yelled. “You have duties and responsibilities here.”

“I am all Frodo has!” Bilbo yelled right back, not caring about anyone overhearing. “The lad needs me. He is my family and if Erebor isn’t good for him, then we should just go back to the Shire!”

“What about me?” Thorin asked in a small voice, suddenly drained of all his anger. “I need you too...”

“Thorin,” Bilbo’s eyes widened, his own anger forgotten when he saw how much he hurt his husband. The hobbit shook his head. “We can give it another month.”

“Bilbo?” Thorin’s eyes filled with hope. “Are you saying?”

“Yes,” Bilbo nodded. “We can give Frodo another month to get used to Erebor. Hopefully he’d have adjusted by then.”

“Oh Ghivashel,” Thorin said as he swept Bilbo up in a hug. “I don’t know what I would do without you.”

Thankfully, the two Princes heard this argument and went through great lengths to make Frodo love Erebor. They enlisted help from their mother and from the rest of the Company. Since nobody wanted to see Bilbo go, or have to deal with a dour Thorin, they all did their best to make Frodo feel at home Under the Mountain.

Bilbo smiled as he recalled all the shenanigans that had ensued that month. Thorin saw this and raised an eyebrow in question.

“It’s nothing,” Bilbo said, leaning up to kiss his husband. “I was just remembering how thankful I am to everyone for everything they did for us this year.”

“Oh?” Thorin asked. “Like what?”

“Just… everything I guess.”

“You’re a sap,” Thorin teased, holding Bilbo close.

“I’m your sap,” Bilbo retorted, snuggling into his husband. “I hope the next year will be as good as this one has been.”

“It won’t,” Thorin said. “It will be better.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG. I made it!!! *insert party popper sfx*  
> It has been great making these this month. It's been a great year all-around. Thank you so much to everyone who read this and left kudos or comments. I really hope I can make this again in 2016.  
> Here's to hoping!
> 
> Happy New Year everyone!!!


End file.
